Friday, September 4, 2015

An Enemy of the Kingdom




A harsh wind blew Corporal Andreran’s navy blue cloak over his shoulder. Grumbling in annoyance, he impatiently shoved it back. His cruel, crystal eyes scanned the surrounding forest warily as he applied gentle pressure to his horse’s sides, guiding it around a bend in the trail. A yawn broke his face and he glanced at the pale sky, gauging the sun’s position and a break in the eternal marching. Suddenly, Anderan heard excessive swearing from several of the men behind him, and the sounds of many men trying to move in panic. He spun around in time to see a second solider fall to a cobalt marked arrow piercing his throat. A third one flew in at impossible speed, and another of his men fell. He yelled at his men to reach cover, drawing his sword as he did so. His soldiers made a mad rush for the trees, drawing swords and unlimbering bows as they charged. There was a flash of darkness and he saw a sapphire-studded dagger embed itself in the back of one of the retreating men.
Anderan flew off his horse, landing heavily among the green foliage in the trees. He spun, barking orders to his men to form a defensive line, sending several of them out to scout the area. There was a sound of air hissing, and several leaves fell after the coming of a steel blade, slicing into armor as if it was made of butter. The man made hardly a sound as he died, collapsing heavily to the ground. Still Anderan had seen no sign of the attacking force. It looked as if several of his troop were fighting something on his left flank, but one by one they fell in rapid succession. There was chaos, his men dropping weapons and attempting to flee, only to be cut down by the shade in their midst. Bodies lay against tree trunks, and swords lay abandoned in emerald bushes.
Anderan attempted to call his men to him, putting his back to a dark brown tree trunk, holding his sword in a defensive position. Several rallied, crowing around him and slashing at everything that moved. There was another flash of darkness, and a tall, muscular man cloaked in mottled greens, tans, and chestnuts seemingly appeared in front of Anderan. His blade whipped to the side with ludicrous speed and precision, and another soldier fell to the dirt. A soldier charged from behind and his gloved hand flicked, sending a dagger into his throat. The hooded man cut down the last soldier in front of Anderan, and slashed at his neck. Anderan barely managed to bring his sword up in time to stop him. Another flick, and another bare miss. The man in front of him grinned, strands of brunette hair escaping his hood, and swung at Anderan again. Mid-swing his blade reversed direction, too quickly for Anderan to keep up, and the attacker’s blade sunk into his side.
There was so much red. Dark blood covered everything, turning spring into autumn. Crimson filled Anderan’s vision. Scarlet splattered boots slowly made their way in front of Anderan’s face, and a grinning man appeared there. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” He drew a dagger from his sleeve, clearly enjoying himself. He glanced around at the carnage and gore and sighed, as if he was disappointed it was over. “I would’ve like to have kept one alive, to send a message, but I got into it too much.” He confided to Anderan, tapping the flat of the blade against the palm of his hand. “Oh well, can’t do much about it, can I?” Corporal Anderan gasped in pain as the long, thin blade of the dagger sank into his throat. He tried to speak but his mouth filled with blood instead. His eyes closed, and all he saw was black.

6 comments:

  1. This is great, Zach! I especially like the last paragraph and the detail of the blood transitioning the scene from the green of spring to the red of autumn. How clever. I also like how you ended with the color black, how the scene fades out along with his life or consciousness. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for you comment. This story was sort of a challenge to me, as I'm not used to being restricted to one color at a time and wanted to mix all of these colors into the story at once.
      Have a lovely night,
      Zachary

      Delete
  2. Hey, Zachary. I hope you are having a good morning. I liked that I could really get to know your character in this story. There was a lot of action going on, but you narrated it in a way that I could follow very well. I like how the colors go from calm to progressively more "angry" (for lack of a better word) as your story intensifies. I love the last line and how blunt it is. It gives a sharp drop from climax to conclusion. Great job.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good morning, Laura.
      Thank you for your comment. I struggled with this piece and was trying to find a midpoint between detail and story, while remaining within the refines of the assignment.
      Have a lovely night,
      Zachary

      Delete
  3. Hi, Zachary! This was amazing! I love how the story quickly draws you in with the action, suspense, and this unknown enemy of the kingdom (quite unfair that he has no name, though). I especially liked the line, "Dark blood covered everything, turning spring into autumn." This is fantastic imagery, and you made using colors look easy. Brilliant job!
    Meghan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good morning, Meghan.
      He doesn't deserve a name, since he only has four paragraphs to make his debut.
      Have a lovely night,
      Zachary

      Delete