The Candy... It Speaks to Me!

As I reached into the bag of candy, I thought I heard a voice saying, “Pick me, pick me!”

Halloween was over. Good riddance. A silly collection of shabby costumes and cheap paint? The incessant background noise of rowdy, hyper children who can't keep quiet or keep still? Yeah, no thanks. I never got anything out of Halloween. I never cared for the dress-up, or the make-up, or the sick-up that came afterwards. I was a strange child. I'm still a strange...thing. The only thing I ever enjoyed from Halloween was the secret not-so-secret pilfering of candy from my little siblings. The completely-out-in-the-open hidden taking of candy was my personal pride. A tradition that came every year during a time I didn't care to exist in. Stealing little wrapped bites of chocolate and hard spots of sweetness was always a joy to me. I'm a thief (not a put-me-in-jail kind of thief. A ha-your-pencil-disappeared-how-funny kind of thief), and I'm proud of it. Now that Halloween was over, it was time for the poaching to begin.
I attacked my sister's stash first. She's particularly picky about her candy so it's best to get the good stuff from her before she sorts it out and sorts it farther away from me. She's like that, completely OCD and a future don't-touch-my-stuff-especially-my-food kind of lady. I stuffed my pockets full and retreated to my room, safely ensconced inside white walls and a door with an unseen "No Entry" sign that's more spiritual than physical but is just as effective. Candy hidden, I once again emerged to find my little brother's pile of goodies. He was a little more difficult. Utterly territorial of his candy and far more likely to hide it, it took a whole four minutes and twenty seconds to uncover it under his pillow and reach inside. As I reached into the bag of candy, I thought I heard a voice saying, "Pick me, pick me!" Except I know I heard it. I, of course, dropped the bag of candy. "Ow! Why'd you do that?" One little voice said. "Because he's an idiot, obviously." Another answered.
I picked up the bag of candy and threw it as hard as I could against the wall. Then for good measure I went over and stomped on it a bit. There weren't anymore voices. I glanced inside and saw a piece of chocolate and a sucker with little faces on them. Both of them had comical, tiny "x's" over their eyes. I shrugged and pulled them out, consuming the chocolate first. Talking candy, that was certainly a new experience. I grabbed some more candy and once again returned to my room, hogging out on all my new treats. Being the nine year old I am, I completely forgot all about talking candy the moment another piece of chocolate hit my tongue.